Memories of life 🍁

As an alumnus of JNV Barpeta, I have always been a proud member of this autonomous institute. It's such a privilege for me, in fact for every student of JNV across the Nation, that one can never compare it to other institutions. I can still remember my days in JNV starting from the day when I entered JNV along with my Abba (Father). His eyes were filled with tears of joy and my eyes were filled with fears of getting a completely different environment. New place, new teachers, new classmates and of course the new ideas. I wasn't a top scorer in my JNV days but I think I could have been a top scorer in almost every class which wasn't possible due to my uncompetitive attitude, my reluctant studies and my family background which could have been a positive sign for me to think something differently. But to be honest I failed. During the holidays it was a great fun to be at home initially but from class VIII when we shifted to the senior dormitories I had a good feeling for a girl. I loved to watch her in the academic block, in the games hour and even in the dinning hall. It was a great fun. I enjoyed my dreams. I felt the romance within me just imagining walking down the street along with her holding her hand, smiling and singing and dancing. Even today I sing those beautiful songs that I used to sing to please her, to express my interest in her. Aankhon Mein Teri (Om Shanti Om), Mausam Suhana Duniya Bhi Kitni Suhani, Pakhitei Pakhi Logai Uribolei Mon, Monor Nijanot Junak Asile, Jag Laal Laal Dikhe Hai Mujhko, Tu Jaanena, Aa Jaao Meri Tamanna (Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani), Kahin Naa Laage Mann (Kismat Konnection) are few of them. But that never happened; I couldn't express my love for her. I had always problems with my look specifically my bent teeth coming outside. I was hurt by this poor look which always has been a unpleasant experience for me. What I made wrong throughout my JNV days was I always considered myself lower than others, I hardly praised myself. I knew I had potential but I never concentrated on that. I let them down. Secondly, I wasn't good at friendships perhaps because most often I felt neglected by others, don't know why, maybe for my look. The friends whom I respected a lot did nothing special at times. So, that's the crucial situation where I failed to recognise my true friends. Eventually we left the family and now wandering all around the world searching for happiness. Maybe money car girlfriend everything will be available now but those days, those memories will never be found anywhere else, though it's not possible to get fully but a little bit maybe there if we really get our times to go back there. 🌹